Get Lost in Literature

“And even if I turned out to be entirely sane—well then, great, it meant that an alien advance party was suddenly nosing around my planet. Worse, they were lawyering up.” ― Rob Reid, Year Zero Nick Carter--not that Nick Carter--has 48 hours to save the world. Aliens owe Earth all the money in the universe because they've been stealing our music. And rather than go universally broke on music pirating fines, they want to help us self-destruct. This book was funny, but you probably won't find the meaning to life inside of it, if that's what you're looking for. It does make a few cold jabs at the digital generation; media piracy is at an all-time high because everybody's doing it, simply because everybody else is doing it. And if you like lots of science in your science fiction, this probably isn't the book for you either. There's plenty of gadgets, intergalactic travel, aliens, and fantastic alien planets, but very little logic as to how any of this is possible...

  "What if? Maybe those two words were the first steps out of any swamp." This is the story of Dan Lambert, a Vietnam veteran, suffering from a bad combination of PTSD, poverty, and a brain tumor. When he accidentally kills a man he must go on the run, heading south he looks for a place he can disappear. He meets a women named Arden, who is desperately and obsessively searching for a faith healer. The two are pursued by the strangest of bounty hunters, parasitic twins Flint and Clint Murtaugh and their apprentice, Elvis impersonator Pelvis Eisley. I thoroughly enjoyed this from beginning to end. It reads like a mystery, but thriller is probably more accurate a description given that we already know who the killer is. It was a fast-paced adventure through the bayous, being pursued by all manner of strange and morally gray individuals, which brings us to... The characters. They were so quirky and weird, it made no sense, and yet it worked seamlessly with the plot. A parasitic t...

  Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch   by Terry Pratchett ,  Neil Gaiman “Hell may have all the best composers, but heaven has all the best choreographers.” The end is here...or nearing here. Heaven and Hell are quite excited about the apocalypse but they're the only ones. Demon Crowly and Angel Aziraphale have been sent to Earth to meddle in the affairs of humans for thousands of years...and they don't want the world to end... We have crapes, Queen, and books. The Antichrist is here to bring in the end of times but where exactly is here? Charged with watching over him, Crowly and Aziraphale are left panicked when they realize they lost the Antichrist. And a witch named Anathema Device teams up with luckless witch hunter Newton Pulsifer to find him. So this is to date, one of the funniest books I've ever read, which maybe isn't saying too much because I don't read a lot of comedies. But I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. I feel l...

“That version, as with so many of the stories we tell about our history, erased a woman- a plain, bad heroine- in favor of a less messy and more palatable yarn about two feuding brothers from New England.” ― Emily M. Danforth, Plain Bad Heroines Plain Bad Heroines is a book with two settings; the story begins in 1902 Rhode Island, at Brookhants School for Girls. The girls at the school become infatuated with each other, and obsessed with a memoir by teen author, Mary MacLane. They start a society that worships the book and, eventually, die tragically with the book in their company. Libbie Brookhants and her long time girlfriend, Alexandra Trills are trying to unravel the mystery before they themselves become unraveled. The second setting is in modern day Hollywood, where actresses Harper Harper and Audrey Wells have been cast to play leading roles in an upcoming horror movie titled: Happenings at Brookhants , based on the novel written by teen writer Merritt Emmons who will be consulti...

"'Destiny’ is the state of perfect mechanical causation in which everything is the consequence of everything else. If choice is an illusion, what’s life? Consciousness without volition."  Joe Spork has walked the straight and narrow his whole life, following in the footsteps of his grandfather, working as a clockwork repairman. He's been trying to hide from the legacy left to him by his father, Matthew, who lived his life at the head of organized crime; Joe doesn't want to be his father's son. But when a friend brings in a strange mechanical book for Joe to repair, strangers start taking an interest in the horologist. And when that mechanical book triggers a hive of mechanical bees to take flight, someone frames Joe for terrorism, making him flee from the life he's lived to the life he tried to hide from. Ever hear the expression "show, don't tell," with regards to writing? This book was fabulous, in that respect. Nick Harkaway does...

The Highly Effective Detective Goes to the Dogs (The Highly Effective Detective #2) Private Investigator Teddy Ruzak, is about to be shut down for practicing without a license when a dead body is found just outside his office...He's also planning on adopting a dog. This book was really bizarre; it wasn't a bad story, it was just weird. First the writing style is just so young, I was under the impression that the book had been intended for children... until a couple of grope-scenes and dropped F-bombs reversed that line of thinking. Second, we're dealing with an overweight, amateur sleuth, with an ADD train of thought and a middle-school sense of humor...Which brings me right back to this book is for children even if there a child-inappropriate moments. I suppose this could also be for adults with childlike attention spans, but that person is not me. I marked this book with three stars because I gave me a laugh and kept me busy. The problem is, I can't tell if Ri...

Nick Carter--not that Nick Carter--has 48 hours to save the world. Aliens owe Earth all the money in the universe because they've been stealing our music...And rather than go universally broke on music pirating fines, they want to help us self-destruct. This book was funny, but you probably won't find the meaning to life inside of it, if that's what you're looking for. It does make a few cold jabs at the digital generation; media piracy is at an all time high because everybody's doing it, simply because everybody else is doing it. And if you like lots of science in your science fiction, this probably isn't the book for you either. There's plenty of gadgets, intergalactic travel, aliens, and fantastic alien planets, but very little logic as to how any of this is possible. This is the kind of science fiction you weren't meant to think about. The emphasis is on the humor and the adventure... both of which were enjoyable, but the adventure was more ...

If you're familiar with the blog, you are probably already in love with the book and it certainly won't be a surprise or a let down to see this collection of amateur photography.  If you're unfamiliar with the blog, Dog Shaming , it's basically a photo blog like Tumblr or Pinterest where people can send pictures of their canine companions posing with signs that confess their crimes. That means these photos weren't done in a studio by trained photographers, they were captured by shutterbugs with naughty pooches. Personally, I thought the book was absolutely darling! I do think anyone familiar with dogs and the naughty things they do, will enjoy looking through these photos of guilty canine companions; it certainly a good gift idea for the dog lover in your life. Rating 4/5

Y2K approaches and the town of Thebes spirals into chaos as Mrs. Leontina Scales sustains a head injury that leaves her senseless and her daughter, Tabitha, of questionable morals, takes control of the household. Jeremy Carr, a gay church choir singer, is torn between his past and his future, and left to perform for a convent full of aging nuns. I loved Gregory Maguire's first step out of the realm of fairy-tales and into that of religious satire and I'm surprised to find I'm one of the few who thought this book earned 5 stars. I think anyone who gave it a rating of two stars or less, doesn't understand satire or is too deeply devout to laugh at themselves. I thought it was fantastic to use humor to bring a bit of reality to light; the constant press for moral conformity in religious groups and the conflicts with the flawed individuals who attend. I also thought the parallels between Jeremy's long failed relationship with Willem to Tabitha's recently fai...

Smart Mouth Waitress (Life in Saltwater City #2) by Dalya Moon Peridot is an 18 year old smart mouthed waitress. Her mom took off to LA to record an album leaving Perry in charge of her moody dad and her stoner brother. Despite being in charge of her household, Perry's given herself a mission: find a boyfriend. This is great light reading, the story flows with wit that borders somewhere between sarcastic and socially awkward... Grammatically, the comma placement needs a little work, but the sentence structure was hardly the most distracting thing. The characters: eh. They had their high points and low points.  Perry, the main character, comes off as a strong leading lady in some scenes, an image helped by her smart mouth... But her desire to change who she is, simply to impress men and get laid is a bit ridiculous. I know she's 18, but c'mon; she's taking care of her family, working, driving-- one would think she's responsible enough to know better...

Four teenage boys--a ladies man, a lover, a dork, and an oddball--are looking for one last hurrah together, partying it up and trying to get laid, before they have to grow up and go off to college.  Does the plot seem familiar? Tragically, it's the same plot given to us by Adam Herz, in American Pie . David H. Steinberg, who is credited with writing the storylines for American Pie 2  and  American Pie: Book of Love,  should, and probably does, know this. As a fan of the American Pie movies, I entered into this book with slightly more than an open mind; I was pretty damn excited! And even though the first few chapters did make me laugh, the more I read the more I found myself waiting for the story to pick up. I eventually came to a realization: This is all there is . Here's the problem and there is no way of getting around it: This story is like evidence that Steinberg peaked with AP2 . This story reads like a retelling of AP1 , with a slightly less f...